who is it
that You hope to see
in this bright blue stillness
reflecting Thee?
is all I bring to the table
unable to satisfy
the You to see?
am I too much
and not enough
and knives
and spoons
and MTV?
Am I who You say I am
or what I say I see?

Because
if I were to be honest
if I were to be honest
vulnerability does not come easily to me
and the times, those times it does come
it makes me feel cheap
to hear the me in me surface
and watch You unearth
this monstrosity.

So
I bury me
six feet deep
hoping for choking
before You see my secret deeds.
But You are Who
with lidless eyes
sees the movements of my motives
to destruction and murder
that I cannot recognize

I am
my own worst enemy
my very best critic
my twin saboteur
my permanent devil’s advocate.

but You
take these twisting hands
and plant them in the sand
to unbury the breathing me
he calls me forth
she calls me forth
and from dusty caves I stride
singing in new life
as my dilated eyes
smile
as I watch the You in me
walk towards the me in the sea
that I never let anyone see
but Thee.

You take my hand
and we stand waist deep
with sand under our feet
and only the sky to meet
the living me
as the dead me sinks
to the bottom of the keep.

In You I rose.
In You I chose.
In You I know
You will always be the Thee in me.